The Hormonal Chronicles

Right, reporting back to myself is a lot more scary, than reporting to others. Simply because I can lie to others. I can tell them I did a workout, I can tell them I am eating healthy and keep on top of all the things I planned… I am not saying I lie to people. I am saying that the opportunity is there and they are likely to just take my word for it. You can’t however lie to yourself (unless there is a way, please let me know I would really love to be able to!). So last week, when I posted five things I promised to myself, I knew this time I have to report my progress (or the lack of it) to a very harsh critic – myself, i.e. the meanest critic I have ever come across (the meanest to myself of course, I am very polite and nice to the rest of the world). But there is a bright side to it – I actually did what I planned to do! Well, most of it but I still have three days of the week left.

First things first – mandatory chin hair count – I feel four. They are not new. So no additionals 👌I am thinking, I count them for a laugh now, but one day they might become my personal nightmare and a constant reminder of the inevitable. I might not feel this chilled about “maturing” in 10 years time….. Maybe I should stop counting……? Maybe one day it might not feel as funny….? Naaaah, fuck it, it will be a laugh…. (said with a tremble in my voice). If I keep thinking everything I do might offend the future me, I will never do anything. Not to mention: how grumpy do I expect the future me to be?! Ok, maybe I will be growing a menopausal beard and overheat a lot but surely I will retain some of my sense of humour. Will I?

One thing I will start noting in addition to chin hair is brain fog. It seems to visit more often these days. In the most gentle way (which is probably why I still find it funny). I am a confident speaker. The fact that I cannot find a word that is “sitting” right at the tip of my tongue is so funny. But speaking to other women, I was advised that there is a point when you get it so frequently and it is so annoying, you no longer find it funny. I spoke to a 50 year old woman who said she broke down and started crying in front of her husband and son, just because she could not find the word “fridge”….. She ended up with “you know the dark cold room we keep the food in”. Husband and son, being male and unaware, were in stitches of course, she absolutely lost it. I must admit I would be in stitches too. When she was telling me the story, she was laughing as well. And she couldn’t understand why she did not find it in her to laugh at the time it was happening. So am I to understand that when it comes to peri or meno – reason goes out of the window? Now I know PMS and menopause are not the same thing. But when we tend to get a little bit more emotional in PMS, I like to challenge / rationalise the feelings I go through at that stage of my cycle. You know, asking myself: am I feeling this annoyed because this matter deserves this amount of annoyance or is it hormones? Are you telling me this reasonable approach will be gone when the meno kicks in properly?! Oh God, please let me keep it. This is the only weapon against hormones I have!

Ok, let’s get down to the business!

Let’s see how well I progressed with the plan to keep the promises to myself!

1. Focus shift – as planned I booked a holiday to the Balearic Islands. It certainly made me a little excited. Target achieved, and now I feel even more motivated to work out ✔️
2. Mountain biking – I was out last Sunday (20 miles), planning on going out tomorrow morning ✔️
3. Writing at least once a week. well, I am reporting today, so obviously this is happening 🙂 ✔️
4. Business going further – I have a few hours blocked off tomorrow and Sunday to work on it. I think I am ok to tick it ✔️
5. At least three workouts in a week – I did 2 strength sessions, 1 x 6.5km run and a lot of walking (I started doing 20 min walks before work and it made a world of a difference). With the cycle planned for tomorrow and a 15km walk planned on Sunday – I think I more than hit the traget ✔️

I think this is a good approach – planning 5 little tasks every Friday to complete in a week. James Clear and his Atomic Habits came in handy! So what’s the plan for the next week? Let’s see!

1. As the holiday is already booked and paid for, I need something else in terms of a promise…. Oh I know what I could do! I promise myself to read one page a day of the book I am currently trying to read. Ok, maybe one page a day might be too much. Let’s agree to three pages a week. I know it seems silly but bear with me. The book is… Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. The most amazing book ever. The very first grown up book I read as a child. I read it about a hundred times. I am now reading it in Spanish. I find reading a book you love in other languages helps A LOT in learning the language.
2. Cycling – this promise will stay on this list forever, along with the workouts. So yes, at least one cycle to be done!
3. Working out – minimum three times a week!
4. Pushing the business forward. I can’t promise any more than that in terms of it as one day is different to the other. So pushing forward is the only way I can keep the business on my promise list.
5. Writing – again, at least half hour on Fri / Sat just to catch up on my progress. Saying that , I sat down today for 30 mins, and I am still here 2 hrs later……

So, here are the promises I make to myself this week. Let’s see how that goes.

Be good to yourselves! Adios!