Woke up in a foul mood today, feeling like there is no point in doing anything. This has been happening more often recently. I haven’t had a holiday in 7 months and have just been through a financial year end. Maybe that’s what it is. I am, however, told the feeling of pointlessness is quite common in perimenopause / menopause. Somehow, people have the need to point this out on a regular basis….
I work in finance, love my job, and still have a lot of career plans to fulfil, not to mention personal goals. Today, it feels like it’s all too much. I really have nothing to complain about, life is treating me well, my health seems good and I have no reasons to feel this drained. So, what else could this be if not the perimenopause? I sometimes wonder if I am overthinking all this. I mean every single thing that I feel, every stomach grumble, fart, silver hair or that one bloody deep wrinkle on my forehead that makes me look like I am pissed off all the time – all of it is straight away put through a menopause analyser. It is exhausting living in my head. I never think that stomach grumbles or farts are caused by something that I ate. I never think that I have this wrinkle because I am always trying to focus and I actually am pissed off most of the time! Noooooooo! It must be the meno creeping up! I know it is stupid. But I can’t stop! My need to be prepared and in control of my body (as much as I can) is much stronger. On top of that, I spent most of my life looking for inner peace. I am told when the menopause kicks in, that inner peace will be destroyed. This is one of my biggest fears. So I have an ambitious plan… I am going to win with hormones.
The Hormonal Chronicles 